Down low and fined.... Merde, alors!

A bright and breezy day made for good playing conditions although the fairways are still rough in places. However given the mowers had been out we went with no preferred lies much to the disgust of one or two mongrels. Play was slightly delayed as we had to throw the balls twice due to the late arrival of one mutt as the reorganisation of the groups would have been more complicated than starting again – I would ask Dogs who are en route but realise they will be late to phone ahead so we can at least stick you in the last group without creating too much havoc.

To the play and it would appear there was indeed much of it to be had. With half the field submitting returns of 20 or less it would take a while to name all those in need of assistance via increased handicaps, but MataHari will see to this. Talking of whom - she has yesterday demonstrated to us on several occassions that she is capable of slicing more than handicaps – even to the extent of reverting to Curly Wurly’s tactic of aiming as far as you can in the other direction – which will then tend to go as straight as a die into the nearest tree. Enough of such trivia and onto the business of the day – “tailed off’ to the extent he looked like a docked dog was Phillipe – his attempt on the Dogs record for the lowest number of points (record is 4) was truly remarkable with a staggering 7 points– but such an attempt without the aid of crutches was deemed to be un-dog-like and he was therefore summarily fined for his cheek in not achieving his place in history. His fine was complemented by one for Grahame for attempting to get an early drink by firing his ball from the 18th greenside bunker straight into the clubhouse. It seems somewhat unfair that such a finely struck shot was enough to ensure an increase in his handicap by finishing on 19 points – but as mentioned above he was in good company. Coming quickly up the scale we jumped from 21 points to Douglas on 25 and thereafter to the balls. On (for her a poor) 27 points we had our own MataHari picking up where she left off before her trip home, where she insists she was far to busy to pick up a golf club. On 28 and almost achieving the pinnacle after long sojourns at the other end was Brian with 28 points and only pipped at the post by myself [Gus] picking up 3 points on the 18th to finish with 30 points and the leader of the pack, completely reversing last weeks position of dogshit.