Sad, but glorious!

It was a sad but fun day yesterday. It was sad to say farewell to Heather Culpan and Graham Stubbs who have been staunch supporters of the DOGs since joining. Heather and Mike take on Ghana whilst Graham and Janet move to Samoa. They played their last game with us yesterday and then we said farewell with a customary DOGs dinner at my kennel at which 30 mongrels turned up. It was a cracking night with lots of fun and laughs..... aren't all DOGs dinners??? I was not too enthusiastic about getting out of bed today !!! Thanks to all who helped out with food and to Heather and Mike for the kind contribution of a case of wine.

To the game itself.... 18 assorted mongrels appeared on the 1st tee box despite the threat of rain. In fact we had a dry round although at times it was very close to 'precipitating' on us !!! With the low clouds overhead and a bit of a breeze the conditions were good. The grass had been cut and the greens were fair. And the results............. mmmmmm ... not so good generally !!!

Once again, we will see Mata hari adjusting handicaps!! At the rear end of the pack this week, we had Greg Boulton deep in the Doodoo with 17 points protecting OK from the humiliation on 18 points. Philippe didn't fare much better on 19 points!! Leaping to those who covered themselves in glory... Flemming was closest to the pin on the 6th. Top Dog missed out on 'balls' to Rob Jones on 30 points for 3rd place. In 2nd place we had Douglas with 32 points and the Leader of the Pack in her last outing with the DOGs is Heather with 33 points. Well done to all but especially Heather. Some one ought to warn "The Royal Accra Golf Club" that we are exporting a 'terrierist' to them although I am sure that Matahari will reduce Heathers handicap appropriately to ensure she can not be accused of "Dacoity" !!

Kate not to be kiboshed!

A great turn out on both Friday and Saturday. As mentioned in last weeks note there was a gathering of the pack at Savar on Friday where 8 of us turned up to play. The conditions were excellent. The grass is good, well cut and the ball sits up beautifully. The greens are a bit slow but then they always are at Savar. Despite back clouds hanging over Dhaka, the sun shone in Savar with a gentle breeze to cool it down a bit. Lovely trip out ... and to be repeated !! Oh, and just by the way, Top Dog had an eagle on the 18th... any time you want to hear about I will be only too happy to tell you how it happened..... a perfect drive into the middle of the fairway ....... and a pitching wedge 110 yds to 3 feet from the pin and a straight roll down the hole !!!!

Anyway, to Saturday .... 16 mongrels turned up to play... the numbers are really good this year. We have not had a Saturday with less than 8 as far as I know... in past years at this time we have been as low as 3 and 4 players !! Again, despite threatening clouds we got round the course without getting wet and again, a pleasant wind kept the temperatures bearable.The score were generally fairly low again. Brian continued his love affair with the Dog Doodoo coming in with 15 points....... Philippe eat your heart out mate !! The others who were very grateful to Brian for kennelling the doodoo included Leo on 16 points, OK and Graham Stubbs on 18, Gus on 19 !! All these mongrels have their handicaps increased by 1. At the head of the pack we had Lars in 3rd place on 28 points, Graham Mckenzie in 2nd with 29 points and Dingo Kate is Leader of the Pack with 31. Ohhhhhhh..... and by the way, she also took the Nearest to the Pin on the 12th. Now under normal circumstances, we would not cut her handicap but since it is Kate and she stated that she would win again next week... it has been decided that she get chopped by 1.... Congratulations Kate !!!

Next week we play at Kurmitola on Saturday at the usual time. If anyone is interested in playing Savar on Friday please let me know.. I am !!

We have the Dogs dinner on Saturday at my place at 7.30.... to say farewell to Mike and Heather and Graham and Janet. We shall say farewell to Lars a little later as he will not be around on Saturday.

This year it is intended that the Dogs tour over Eid il Futr will be to Kunming in China. The timing is roughly from Friday 20th through to Saturday 28th and any time in between... there are daily flights from Dhaka. We intend using a travel agency in Dhaka to do all the bookings. If you are interested please let me know so that we can start making arrangements.
Have a fun week !!!

Down low and fined.... Merde, alors!

A bright and breezy day made for good playing conditions although the fairways are still rough in places. However given the mowers had been out we went with no preferred lies much to the disgust of one or two mongrels. Play was slightly delayed as we had to throw the balls twice due to the late arrival of one mutt as the reorganisation of the groups would have been more complicated than starting again – I would ask Dogs who are en route but realise they will be late to phone ahead so we can at least stick you in the last group without creating too much havoc.

To the play and it would appear there was indeed much of it to be had. With half the field submitting returns of 20 or less it would take a while to name all those in need of assistance via increased handicaps, but MataHari will see to this. Talking of whom - she has yesterday demonstrated to us on several occassions that she is capable of slicing more than handicaps – even to the extent of reverting to Curly Wurly’s tactic of aiming as far as you can in the other direction – which will then tend to go as straight as a die into the nearest tree. Enough of such trivia and onto the business of the day – “tailed off’ to the extent he looked like a docked dog was Phillipe – his attempt on the Dogs record for the lowest number of points (record is 4) was truly remarkable with a staggering 7 points– but such an attempt without the aid of crutches was deemed to be un-dog-like and he was therefore summarily fined for his cheek in not achieving his place in history. His fine was complemented by one for Grahame for attempting to get an early drink by firing his ball from the 18th greenside bunker straight into the clubhouse. It seems somewhat unfair that such a finely struck shot was enough to ensure an increase in his handicap by finishing on 19 points – but as mentioned above he was in good company. Coming quickly up the scale we jumped from 21 points to Douglas on 25 and thereafter to the balls. On (for her a poor) 27 points we had our own MataHari picking up where she left off before her trip home, where she insists she was far to busy to pick up a golf club. On 28 and almost achieving the pinnacle after long sojourns at the other end was Brian with 28 points and only pipped at the post by myself [Gus] picking up 3 points on the 18th to finish with 30 points and the leader of the pack, completely reversing last weeks position of dogshit.

Sharp cut, blunt game

The numbers are still holding up !! We had 11 mongrels on the 1st tee box this week despite the gloomy conditions. One new dog, Big Jimmy Crawford retreated to his kennel before the start apparently refusing to get his paws wet !! As it turned out, there was no rain but we have had sufficient over the past few days to ensure that snorkels were a preferred choice of head gear !! It was very wet under foot. The grass was very long.... we were struggling to tell where the fairway ended and the rough began and it was extremely humid. I think we were fortunate that the sun didn't come out !!!

The scores ranged from reasonable to diabolical. But the interesting.... correction... amazing phenomenon this week was the scores seemed to be dependent on the order you teed off !! The last 4 ball to tee off came in with the 4 worst scores, with the first 3 ball coming in the first 3 places. and in the order that they teed off at the 1st !! The middle 4 ball came in the middle...... all a bit spooky !!

So who was in the last group.... well, Dog doodoo this week goes to Gus with 17 points. His playing companions, Ian Wright and Leo come in with 18 and Teb scored 20 !!! Must have made for an interesting round !! The middle fourball ranged from 22 to 29 with Top Dog losing out on count back to Kate with 29 for 3rd place. In 2nd place we had Lars on 31 points losing on count back to Bill who is Leader of the Pack this week. Well done.
Upward handicap adjustments are as follows: Gus will play off 27, Leo off 23, Ian off 29. I am sure Matahari will do a proper write upon her return. There are no downward adjustments this week.

Next week we will play at the same time and same place. Unfortunately, I will be tied up with work so Gus has kindly volunteered to step in for me. Have a fun time.

Is I us?

It was a sunny Saturday morning on the first hole at Kurmitola and I was beginning my pre-shot routine, visualising my upcoming shot, when a piercing voice came over the clubhouse loudspeaker. "Would the gentleman on the women's tee back up to the men's tee please!"

I could feel every eye on the course looking at me. I was still deep in my routine, seemingly impervious to the interruption. Again the announcement, "Would that MAN on the WOMEN'S tee kindly back up to the MEN'S tee."

I simply ignored the announcement and kept concentrating, when once more, the man yelled: "Would the MAN on the WOMEN'S tee back up to the MEN'S tee, PLEASE!"

Finally, I stopped, turned and looked through the clubhouse window directly at the person with the mike. I cupped my hands and shouted back, "Would the prick in the clubhouse kindly shut the f*** up and let me play my second shot?"

Thanks, Philippe, for this wonderful description of how rewarding golf can be!

Mac attack!

I thought we would have a lean week this week but amazingly we had 10 hardy mongrels turn up to play. The sun was shining brightly and a lovely breeze was blowing as we threw the balls. But once we teed off that nice breeze disappeared and we were left sweltering !!! It was HOT !!

The course was not in particularly great condition !! An army of grass pickers have left the worlds biggest bunkers on every fairway but the greens are good. Where the little men have dug sand pits they have placed new shoots of grass which will knit together in a couple of weeks. Surprisingly, the scores were generally quite good !!

We had new Dog James Crawford discovering every part of the course but showing his potential !! However, he was disappointed that he was unable to lay claim to the Dog Doodoo this week as it was his first outing.... Don't worry James, there is always next week !! In recognition of your efforts you will play off an 18 handicap next week!! That leaves your partner in crime... Grahame Mac with the honour of being Dog Doodoo this week with 23 points !!

At the other end we had balls going to Teb in 3rd place with 29 points,Gary in 2nd with 30 points and Leader of the Pack this week is Lars with 32 points. Well done chaps. You see, the lads can win balls.......... when the girls are playing away !!!! Kim tried to keep the girls 'end' up but being the only lass out on the turf proved a mission too far..... even for Kim !!
Have a fun week. For those of us that remain in Dhaka, we will play at the same time next week at the same place.