Touching balls... usurper of my bone... strange game

The sun shone on the chosen few – and by the end of it only a few were chosen. 17 mutts lined up in great expectation with the sun on their back and the great adventure in front of them – and it looks like some very adventurous golf was played going by the scores.

Having thought the days of being safe at 20 points were behind us some of the pack decided to give that new truism a bit of a go – as the troops came home there was a decided mood of resignation on being doodoo of the week – some people wanting to accept it (for the first time ever) even before they got off the final green. However, Kim’s mood of desolation coming off in the first group only lasted till the second 3 ball came off when she was returned to a state of euphoria seldom seen from her earlier in the day. Ian Wright’s wry acceptance of the prospect at 21 was also not to result in a smelly visitor for the week. However – in retrospect 3 putt Pete’s cries of euphoria at Mike Tarry’s expense should probably have merited a fine. Yes – Mike dipped below the line to 19 to accept his friend without even the consolation of a stroke rise in handicap. It doesn’t seem the same getting an addition of 0.1 for such noble sacrifice – at some point in the near future there will be a revision of low scorers based on the accumulated history – it may be that at the same time a slight adjustment to the handicap adjustment system could be envisaged – say giving a 0.5 manual adjustment for the doodoo of the week? – for debate at another time and place.

To the other end where those scoring above 30 were in a rarified atmosphere similar to pre computerized handicap days and certainly not comparable to the hosts of 2 weeks ago. Slipping into the balls at 32 was Paul Rodgers on a manly handicap which was challenged by Alice as being too high anyway (that’ll be sorted shortly), on a Sheila’s handicap of 29 I managed to sneak into second with 37 only to be pipped once again. In this case Maggie May had clearly woken up in late September and looks like she has visited a golf school or guru somewhere. 38 points including a bare 2 points on her favourite 7th ensured her the pooch and a pile of balls.

Having arrived in the first group with a suspicion of being towards the better end I was under much pressure from the devil within to restrict the CSS to the top 3rd and save myself a couple of strokes reduction in handicap but felt the moral high ground should bear my weight and as a result have been reduced to a manly 24 with only the pleasure of knowing the usurper* of my bone has suffered similarly. As noted earlier Paul did not escape unscathed and others had minor insults added to their injuries – a full resume to appear from MataHari shortly.

As noted at the post game cavorting it is a holiday on Monday and Alan had asked for volunteers for a trip to Savar – others noting the current problems in this area and suggesting another venue. I leave it to each of you to communicate on where and when.

Kate asked for some info on touching balls (how unusual for Kate!!) and I said I’ll get back to her – which I will but not today as my day job has interfered somewhat already. However, she has asked for an indication of who would be available for a Rover Cup (Europe v Rest of World this year) at Savar on the 1st Friday in November – please respond quickly – Kate add me in for Europe.

*from Latin usurpare ‘seize for use'

Kolossal Khor

Another hot and sweaty one but fortunately it cooled down as the afternoon wore on. Despite torrential rain at the start of the week the course was in remarkably good shape. 17 mongrels took to the course with a couple of the girls looking a bit dodgy for the full 18 holes..... a gruesome injured wing in one case and a Dingo with myxomatosis in the other !! I thought that it only happened to rabbits!! Needless to say, we duly gave them the sympathy they rightly deserved !!!

The scoring under the new handicapping system has improved dramatically but the end result is the same... some one still gets the Doodoo trophy............ But long gone are the days when scoring in the mid 20's assured avoidance of a sh*tty week. This week Dog Doodoo went to Greg Boulden on 26 points !! Now to be fair, he did win it on count back from 3 Putt Pete who was striking the ball well and was deadly around the greens... literally !! His chip shots resembled loose cannons... huge lobs going in any and every direction !!! Leo was only one shot off Doodoo with 27 points. Nearest the Pin on the 8th was Mike Tarry... only one name on the tab and it was sitting 30 feet away from the hole !!!

Dingo Kate scored 35 points but lost on count back to 'skin and bone' Pascale for 3rd place. In 2nd place losing on count back was Putu with 38 points leaving Khor to take the Leader of the Pack this week. Well done.
Kim will send out the revised handicaps.... I cant remember the adjustments but I know there were no upward revisions and the top 4 take a tumble!!

As most of you will know, I am not available to go on the Dogs tour of Kunming. However, OK (and Bill!!) has (have) kindly agreed to progress the tour. If you are interested in going please contact her soon to confirm your intentions.

Next Saturday we will play Kurmitola as usual at the same time. For those of you who are interested, some of us will be going to Savar on Friday and will tee off at 11 o'clock in order that we can get back into town after a pizza in time to watch the Americans suffer at the hands of the Europeans....... (again and again!!).... I love it !!!

Big thing and pink shaft?!

19 mongrels, all with brand new handicaps, eagerly awaited the 'off' on the 1st Tee box on Saturday. The new but 'proper' handicapping system was introduced for the first time using a programme obtained by 'the girls' and which has created some interesting handicaps !! These will, of course, be 'normalised' as time goes on and more cards are entered onto the system. In the meantime, we have generally got much better scores to report.... in fact some are darn right brilliant !! Gone are the days when you could come into the club with points in the mid 20's assured that the 'smelly thing' belonged to some one else that week !!!

There was an awesome array of power displayed at the start.... the lads showing off their newly acquired weapons of mass destruction. Gus with his enormous new lump of metal trying to compete with Bill's newly acquired 'big thing' that had the most revolting pink shaft !!! Yuk !!!

But to the results...... there was a spot of controversy about the tail end but a bit like 'Darrell Hair' (for those cricketer's amongst us), once Top Dog has taken a decision it stays !!! The issue at point is that one dog limped off injured after playing 13 holes. I worked on the basis that the injury had been sustained in the process of the playing the game and therefore discounted his card and awarding the Doodoo to Leo who came in with 22 points. However, it was pointed out by several that I was showing signs of inconsistency as in the past I had awarded the doodoo to someone who had limped off without completing the course. This is quite true but on that occasion the 'chappy' had arrived feeling 'sickly' and therefore was prepared to play despite the way he was feeling. It was then pointed out that Mr Jones had arrived limping at the start of the game !!! So now it is up to Mr Jones to come clean and state whether he arrived with injury and therefore should be the Doodoo of the week or whether the war wound happened on the course and therefore leaves the trophy with Leo !! Oh, and by the way, Rob you owe Gus a ball and the kitty Tk100 !!!

Now to other 'ballsy' end.... Paul Rogers was nearest to the pin on the 12th. In 3rd place we had Teb on 33 points, Gus had a staggering 38 points off his 33 handicap.... !!! And Leader of the Pack this week was Dingo Kate with 40 points off her 21 handicap.... She played a great game and was absolutely deadly around the greens. Well done. Kim will release the latest version of the handicaps shortly.

In the meantime have a good week. We meet at Kurmitola at the usual time next Saturday. Those who are interested in playing at Savar on Friday let me know... a few of us will going out there and teeing off at 1 o'clock.

Less is more!

Well Saturday was an interesting day for the dogs with a very large field, given the numbers away, with 20 turning out for our first 4 club s/ford competition in living memory. Barry & Margaret were back along with Bill and even Paul Rodgers who on reading last weeks email, booked his tickets in Houston, got on the plane and made the journey to the scene of his recent Kiss Me Kate episode to take part in the 4 club competition…. Good to see you Paul. Conversation in the club house before hand was all about the science of club selection. Despite all the science we managed to have one club temporarily stolen by a Ball boy with the result that Mike started the competition with three clubs before stolen article was returned.

Also fair to say that amongst the 20 were a significant number who sacrificed themselves in the name of club funds, turned up a few minutes behind the 11.45 deadline for being on the tee box, and spread there wealth in the form of fines. Treasury Teb is grateful (even though he paid as well).

Turning to the sporting events… In terms of play, things got slightly cut short by a heavy storm that swept though mid afternoon and didn’t let up. A couple of groups had been sheltering at the little café (?) between the 13th and 14th for about 45 minutes when Leo came wandering out of the woods and joined us. We think he had been struck by lightening and was simply going in circles in a daze looking for his female playing partners who had abandoned him to the elements. (He had been playing the 16th ?)

The Balls:

First order of the day, nearest the pin on the 12th which went to Mike Tarry knocking yours truly out of pole position. Well done Mike who picks up a couple of clean shinny ones.

To the S/ford scoring. With all 5 groups managing to complete through the 12th scoring was taken up to that point and it has to be said that despite the limitation on clubs scoring was significantly better on average than normal weeks……. a couple of exceptions do exist however. There was a real dog scrap at the bottom of the field with Pascale, Khor and Ian Wright all doing there best to win the steamy replica at various stages of the day. Ultimately Ian, clearly concerned about the HSE implications of waving golf sticks about in the face of the impending storm, came out triumphant with 8 points through 12 and is DSOTW. Ian, expect a wee present in your office.

At the other end there was a whole batch of players in the 18 – 22 point range through 12 which is pretty steady golf by normal standards before we come to those competing for the balls. In 4th place on 23 points but loosing out on count back was Rob Jones. (It should be noted TD, that Rob was also fined for scoring 5 points and 4 points on the first and second holes respectively) Third place balls went to wee Douglas also with 23 points. Second place went to Gary, who with not much else to do this week must have spent all his time practicing and achieved a very respectable 24 points but loosing out on count back to Greg Boulden who is LOTPOTW. Well done to all.

Normally at this point we would be saying.. ’Matahari do your stuff’ but general consensus of the quorum attending was to move to the R&A based handicap program that Kim and a couple of the girls have been investigating and maintaining over the past few weeks. A general upward shift in handicaps is the result but there are one or two exceptions. (Kim & Pascale to distribute latest program handicap sheets this week). System should normalise itself over the coming weeks and scoring should generally be higher. Fresh handicap sheets will be made available during the week by email and on the tee box on Saturday.

Next week Top Dog will be back at the front of the sledge after his R&R in Greece and will no doubt be in good shape from all that relaxation !

Next Week, Same time, Same Place (11.45 on the tee box or call Alan if think you will be late)

3PP