Dougie does doodoo

Firstly a wee bit of golfing humour: ‘An American turns up at St Andrews and promptly hits his first tee shot out of bounds….turning to the old craggy faced Scottish Caddie he asks…’whats the Scottish for “a Mulligan”? The caddy stares and then replies..”Playing 3, sir”.

To Saturday: Conditions were fantastic with pretty much dry skies, a slight breeze, firm fairways and greens in good nick and with 13 mutts eventually teeing off. (we first tossed the balls with 9 and then had to go through the process again as strays kept arriving. If you know your going to be late or think you might be late call ahead of 11.45. Fair to say DOGS funds were suitably boosted)

Scores, no one really played very badly with most people hitting the dizzy height of mediocrity in the mid 20’s. Dogs doodoo went very unfortunately to big Dougie on what would normally be a reasonably respectable 22 points….Khor having been saved the pleasure on count-back.

To the Balls… Kate managed to pick up a couple of white round ones for her pin point accuracy at the 12th green…. must have been about 50 feet from the flag and I’m guessing the only one who managed to land on the green. In my group we decided to have a competition at the 12th to see who could hit the ball into the lake with as many bounces as possible before it reached the lake…!

A whole clutch of people in the 24 -27 points mark until we got to the ball winners with in third place Brian on a steady 30 points , second place was Rob on 32 points and this weeks leader of the pack on 36, and being cut by two for the pleasure, is Lissette on 36 points. Very well done.

Next week something different for the weekend. Still playing conventional stableford at Kurmitola at the same time but with a limit of 1 x putter and 3 other clubs of your choice. You must take a normal golf bag with you and decide on your sticks of choice before you arrive on the tee and leave the rest at home or in the car. Any questions give myself a call.

Leo dials in and OK has the wrong number

The outlook was grim and Scuba kit was more appropriate than golf attire at the start of the game. It had rained 'cats and dogs' for the previous 12 hours. However, as always, lady luck was on the side of the good guys and the rain stopped at 12 o'clock when 20 mongrels gathered at the 1st tee to squelch their way round the course. In reality and surprisingly, it was not that bad under foot .......... as the scores showed !!

Once the pack had regrouped back in the clubhouse some confusion reigned. The score cards indicated that Madeleine had grabbed the Doodoo trophy for the second time in a row with 16 points. Kim (alias Wriggly!!) was saved from getting her first Doodoo honour with only 18 points. But then - low and behold - OK announced that I had read out the wrong score for her.......... Oh dear !!! What I had read out was in fact correct as per the card she had signed.... therefore disqualification, and as a result the Doodoo trophy moved up the table to OK... much to her horror !!!

Nearest the Pin was a unique experience this week as the distances were declared equal between Lars and Pascale. Despite 'umpteen' attempts at measurement no difference could be seen so the balls were split !!! At the top end of the pack, we once again had Lars in 3rd place with 33 points and a revised handicap to leave the DOGs with !! In 2nd place was Lissette on 34 points playing for the first time in a couple of months having been away sunning herself in the Netherlands. She also enjoys a new handicap !! And Leader of the Pack was Leo on 36 points having played brilliantly on the front 9 accumulating 24 points but then the wheels came off and he struggled to get 12 on the back. Yet it was still good enough to take the trophy and big balls !! Well done Leo. Enjoy your new handicap!!

Next week we will meet at the same time at the same place. I will be away over the next couple of weeks having a thoroughly good break away with my family in Greece. Peter M has kindly agreed to step in for me. I look forward to seeing you all on my return.

Kim-Kim-I - or how Madeleine saved Alan

Firstly, thanks so much to Lars and Madeleine for hosting a great evening in their kennel last night. Not the pizza we had all expected but instead, lovely Thai food which went well with the wine and the fun company. It was a cracking evening. We wish them all the best in their move back to Europe and hope they find some fun new dogs to play with.

Moving on to the golf... 18 mongrels turned up of which 3 were a new breed. Welcome to Puttu and Watti from Bali and also to Kim Streatfield who is a dingo and will certainly feel at home in this pack !! We were very lucky that we had a cooling breeze... the combination of very high temperature and lack of air the previous day had caused considerable discomfort on the course. Anyway, the course was in good condition. The grass had been cut and the greens were in a fine state so no excuses !!

Top Dog was very lucky that Madeleine had decided to venture out on her second outing with the DOGS... and off her 36 handicap accumulated 13 points saving me the honour of carting the Doodoo home on 16 points. I had a diabolical round of golf. It happens to us all sometimes... when the club feels like a foreign object in your hands, when the ball finds every bunker on the course, when small ponds look like bleedin great oceans, when small mounds resemble Everest, when a mango tree takes on the proportions of the Amazon jungle..........shall I go on or have you got the picture !!!! However, I played in very pleasant company so made the walk worthwhile. At the other end of the pack we had heaps of people on 28 points but Brian came 3rd on count back, in 2nd place we had Philippe on 29 points and Leader of the Pack this week was 3 Putt Pete on 30 points. Ensuring piles of balls went home, his kennel partner, Kim, was closest to the pin on the 12th.

We will play at Kurmitola next Saturday at the usual time.

With reference to the DOGS TOUR, I have attached details I have received from a highly recommended tour agent in Kunming for your information. I will need to start finalising the details etc and those of you wanting to go will need to get on and book flights. It is after all, the Eid week !!! The dates are 22nd to 28th October. Please will you let me know if you wish to join this really great trip.

Cats, Dogs and Condoms

To use an old English expression it rained "cats and DOGS" from the early morning through to tee off time and well beyond !!!! By the way, I do not know the background or significance of the expression but it seems appropriate under the circumstances!! 10 mutts braved it and we duly teed off clad in a variety of outfits... I think I should have fined Dingo Kate and Mata Hari for wearing the most obscene and revolting 'condoms' over their bodies and ended up being wetter than the rest of us through perspiration !!! Madeleine Reichelt played her first proper round of 18 holes... a brave effort in such trying conditions !!

The conditions were fairly grim one way and another but the ability to place (casual water!!) obviously helped some. The greens were surprisingly fast considering the amount of water that was dumped on them. Under the circumstances, the scores were fairly reasonable.... all above 20 points with the exception of Barry who has obviously gone soft from the 'good life' in Bangkok !! He only managed 8 points in total and got only 2 on the back nine !! Barry is Dog Doodoo this week. Gus was Barry's nearest competitor for the honour but playing with Barry at the rear end, both as the last group and with the scores, Gus knew that he was safe on 21 points !! To the other end of the Pack... in 3rd place and in the balls was Top Dog on 28 points, in second we had Pascale with 32 points and Leader of the Pack this week is Bill with 34 points and a new handicap !!

We will play Kurmitola again next Saturday at the usual time. Please note, in the evening of next Saturday, 12th August, Lars and Madeleine would like to host a casual Drinks and Pizza farewell. It will commence at 8 o'clock at their kennel which is at Road 79, House #5. Please will you let me and Lars know if you will be coming in order to ensure that you will not be left hungry or thirsty !!!!